Momma Had Her Dreams

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Momma Had Her Dreams

This painting was finished about a month ago and I took awhile to decide if I wanted to share it or not. It is about my mother who I lost in 2014 at the age of 87. We had a difficult relationship at times and I was often disappointed in the things she said and did, but many years ago I was able to reconcile her faults and forgive the hurt she caused by seeing her for the beautiful wounded child she was.

She had a big heart and a huge presence, at times she was larger than life and when she was young she was “Movie Star” gorgeous. She survived so much including Breast Cancer and Heart Attacks, but she always bounced back proclaiming the ” Devil didn’t want her down there yet he was afraid she would take his job!”

I loved her more than I realized and miss her everyday. I am saddened by the fact I never asked her about her dreams in any detail and I have always wondered what they might have been. Like many women of her time she married young and being poor as  a young person growing up during the depression and a world war there was little opportunity. One thing I do know she was complicated and fierce and I feel her with me everyday.

 

 


10 thoughts on “Momma Had Her Dreams

  1. It’s beautiful, complicated, lasting.
    Your mom would love it.
    If I may, how did you get to that place where you accepted your mother for all she was/wasn’t? I’m there just now with my own mother, and haven’t had any contact in seven months. She sent a letter last week asking me to forgive her. I’m stuck….
    Thank you for sharing this piece of your heart with us. It has touched my heart. 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bits, I really am grateful that you liked the painting and it means so much that it touched you. I am sorry to hear you also have had a tough relationship with your mom. After reading your post on the subject I can identify with your circumstances in many ways. I read a book once by Marianne Williamson (don’t remember the title) and one part that really stuck with me was about how to deal with difficult people in your life. I had several at once. Her advice was to try and picture that person as they would be as a small child with wings sent to teach us about forgiveness. She said to imagine yourself as the mother of that child and to give it the love you wanted to receive from them. It took awhile but I was finally able to do that with my mother. I still try to do it when I am having a tough time with someone I love and it can be very hard to do. I really hope you can heal the relationship with your mom for your own peace of mind. Best wishes.

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  2. Beautifully said. You described Mom so well. I wish I had not wasted so many years being mad at Mom for not being who I needed her to be. I know now she was doing the best she knew how. Wish I could tell her that I am sorry.

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  3. Joyce, thanks for reading my post. I think we all probably wish we could have been more understanding of her. I spent a lot of time being angry too. It is a hard thing to accept your parents as human and not perfect. I know she understood and she told me once she was sorry for how she treated us but she raised us the way she was raised. She also knew we loved her. I only wish I had realized how much.

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  4. Patricia, I am so sorry to hear about your mom. My mother also suffered from dementia in her last years so I know what that can be like.Thanks for the comments about my painting it means a lot to me. My thoughts are with you as you care for your mom.

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  5. Thank you, Jeane, for sharing the painting and your story. I am glad I met your mother that one afternoon and, short as it was, I came away with a good sense of her powerful personality. My own mother died when she was 56 and I hadn’t lived with her since I was 17. Sadly, I didn’t get close enough to understand or, truly, appreciate her. That you could learn to forgive her is a blessing you gave yourself.

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